Key Takeaways
- Reframe overwhelm as opportunity: Feeling overwhelmed with disability isn't failure, it's a signal to reconnect with what you can control
- Use three powerful questions: What do I need urgently? Who can help me? What do I have to learn now?
- Start small and build: Focus on incremental progress rather than trying to solve everything at once
- Shift your mindset: Move from "I can't do this" to "I haven't found a way that works for me yet"
- Embrace discovery: Life with disability reveals unexpected strengths and capabilities you didn't know you had
"Yay. I'm disabled now!" is not something we say when disability enters our life.
I know how overwhelming it can be when disability makes challenges seem too big to handle. It happens to people who are newly disabled or people like me who've been used to it for a while. we can get fed up with it.
But the heavy feeling is not a sign that we're failing. It's a message from our mind that it's time to reconnect to what we can control, to refocus on our own power.
Remember those three questions; they seem too simple, but they work.
1-What do I need now? (not later)
We hate the feeling of being stuck. The best way to deal with it is to aim for progress, not perfection. Overwhelm is a sign that we might try to solve too many things at once.
For example, sometimes you don't need to be able to walk around the whole block for now, but practicing moving up on the stair one step at a time, holding on to a railing can make you feel a little stronger, a little more successful.
2-Who can help me? Where can I get the help I need?
Nobody was created to be fully independent. We all need each other, and we are often happy to help one another.
Can I research a meal service that I could use when I'm too tired? Could I ask some friends to take turns to make a meal for me every other week that I could reheat when it's a tough day?
3-What do I have to learn now?
This is about finding new strategies that could work for you.
Disabilities come in all sorts of shapes in various degrees. Nobody's experience of strengths and challenges are exactly the same.
Just because we don't know of that a certain option , it doesn't mean it doesn't exist or cannot be created.
For example, do you need to chat with an occupational therapist about new equipment that might be available, or do you need to watch a YouTube video about new dressing techniques that could actually do the trick?
Shifting Your Mindset
Feeling overwhelmed doesn't mean that we cannot get what we want, that it is impossible. It's a matter of going from, "I can't do this, aaargh!" to "Maybe I just haven't found a way that works for me, yet."
What makes it all heavy is when we try to figure it out all at once, but we don't have to do that. Later can take care of later. We can take care of now.
Life with a disability, It's always about discovery. Yes, it's filled with hard challenges, but also amazing surprises about strengths you didn't know you have. Give yourself a chance.
Do you need a disability life coach to team up with you as a thinking and action partner?
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Frequently Asked Questions (Q&A)
Q: What should I do when I feel overwhelmed by my disability? A: Start by asking yourself three key questions: What do I need urgently? Who can help me? What do I have to learn now? Focus on small, manageable steps rather than trying to solve everything at once.
Q: Is it normal to feel fed up with disability even after living with it for years? A: Absolutely. Feeling overwhelmed happens to both newly disabled individuals and those who have been managing disability for a long time. These feelings don't mean you're failing, they're a signal to reconnect with what you can control.
Q: How can I make progress when everything feels too difficult? A: Break tasks down into smaller steps. For example, instead of walking around the whole block, practice moving up one stair at a time while holding a railing. Small successes build strength and confidence.
Q: How do I change my mindset from "I can't" to "I can"? A: Reframe your thinking from "I can't do this" to "I haven't found a way that works for me yet." This shift opens you up to discovering new strategies and solutions.
Q: Why does everything feel so heavy when dealing with disability? A: The heaviness often comes from trying to figure everything out all at once. Remember: you only need to take care of now. Later can take care of later.
Q: Can living with disability lead to positive discoveries? A: Yes. While disability presents real challenges, it also reveals unexpected strengths and capabilities you didn't know you had. Life with disability is a journey of continuous discovery. Read more about some of mine
Etienne LeSage